2024 Candlelight Remembrance Service

Our Chapter will hold its annual Candlelight Remembrance Service on Sunday evening, December 8, 2024, starting at 6:30 PM at the Aldersgate United Methodist Church, 235 Park Street, North Reading, MA.  The candle lighting portion of the program will coincide with The Compassionate Friends Worldwide Candle Lighting, which takes place on the second Sunday of December from 7:00 to 8:00 PM in each time zone around the world. 

When we gather on 12/8/24, we will remember our children, grandchildren and siblings in a beautiful ceremony conducted by members of our group.  The ceremony will include readings, music, the lighting of candles and a slide show. Family members and friends are invited to attend.  We are also planning to have the ceremony accessible through Zoom.  If you would like to attend through Zoom, please contact our chapter leader, David Paul:  tcfnoshoreconnect@gmail.com

We are offering our members an opportunity to do readings during the service.  The reading can be something that you have written, or a piece that inspires you, has helped you through your grief journey, or connects you to your child, grandchild or sibling.  We ask that readings be less than 500 words.  We are limiting the number of readings to 8 and at least 2 of the readings will be allocated for siblings.  Readers will be chosen on a first come, first serve basis.  If you are interested in doing a reading, please contact Stephen Bell:  bellps@msn.com  

We will be running our traditional slideshow at the close of the candle lighting ceremony.  For our newer members, the slideshow is a compilation of photos of children, grandchildren and siblings of our chapter members.  If you would like, you may submit up to 3 photos of your child, grandchild or sibling, which will be posted as space permits on each slide.  Pictures should be 5"x7" or smaller and should be as close as possible to the age of your loved one’s angel date.  When you submit your photos, please include the name as you wish it to be posted, birth date, death date, and age at time of death.  All photos should be submitted electronically no later than December 1st to:  tcfnoshoreconnect@gmail.com

After the ceremony, there will be a reception in the church foyer, including a potluck buffet.  We invite attendees to contribute ready to serve food items.  We are also looking for volunteers to assist with event tasks, including set up and clean up.  If you are willing to serve as a volunteer for this special event, please contact:

Sandy Tsakirgis:  sandykiriakos@hotmail.com and/or

Tim Glendinning:  tglendinning@crownuniform.com

Lastly, we would like to inform you that before the service begins, members will have the opportunity to have a photo button made.  The button making will take place in the church parlor, starting at 5:30 PM.  You may bring a photo of your child, grandchild or sibling if you wish to have a button made.  Optimal photo size for the button is 2.5” in diameter.  Buttons will be limited to 2 per family.

We hope that many of you will be able to attend this year’s Candlelight Remembrance Service.  If you have any questions, you may contact David Paul:

tcfnoshoreconnect@gmail.com   

Volunteer Opportunities

If you are one of our seasoned grievers, our chapter needs you to help fulfill its mission to reach out to the newly bereaved. Please attend our meetings and share your wisdom. There are a number of ways in which you can contribute to our chapter, including:

• Assisting our Hospitality Committee with such tasks as arriving early to set up before meetings, greeting members as they arrive, providing refreshments, cleaning up after meetings

• Assisting with facilitating our chapter meetings

• Assisting with planning and organizing special chapter events, such as the December Candlelight Remembrance Service, the Spring Event and the Walk To Remember

• Assisting with organizing the chapter library, helping members to check out and return books, or donating appropriate material to our library

• Contributing articles or stories for our monthly newsletter

• Assisting with the management of our chapter website

• Assisting with phone calls to the newly bereaved

For more information about volunteer opportunities or to help with any of the above services, please contact David Paul at 978-771-6345 or by email.

We charge no dues or membership fees and rely on the generosity of our donors to support our website, our newsletter, office supplies, postage, copying, books and other materials. A donation box is available at each meeting for general donations. You may also make a donation to have a message posted in memory of your child, grandchild or sibling in the Love Notes section of our chapter newsletter, or you may sponsor our chapter website for one month in memory of your child, grandchild or sibling and post your message to them on our website.

We are most grateful for any way in which you are able to support our chapter.

History of Our Chapter

In 1977, eight years after her daughter, Gale, died of meningitis at the age of seventeen months, Joan McLaughlin read an article in her local newspaper about a group for bereaved parents called The Compassionate Friends.  A couple by the name of John and Dorothy Chipman were planning to hold the first meeting of the new local chapter of TCF in Lynnfield, MA.  Joan understood the importance of getting together with other bereaved parents, because six months after her daughter’s death, she became acquainted with Ada Mongiello, whose daughter had died of lymphoma at the age of three.  Together, Joan and Ada helped each other through their difficult times, so Joan imagined that it would be even more beneficial to have a whole group of bereaved parents supporting each other.

When Joan attended her first TCF meeting in Lynnfield, MA, she met Jean and Tom O’Hare, whose twin daughter, Jeannie, died of leukemia at the age of fifteen.  Joan and the O’Hares became fast friends.  A year later, when the Chipmans decided to give up the chapter leadership, Jean, Tom and Joan became the new leaders of the North Shore-Boston Chapter of The Compassionate Friends.  They moved the chapter meetings to their hometown of North Reading, MA, and meetings have been held at the Aldersgate United Methodist Church ever since.  Joan, Tom and Jean served as chapter leaders until 1989.  During that time, they dedicated themselves to reaching out to educate the local communities about the mission of The Compassionate Friends and as a result, our chapter thrived and kept growing.  

At its onset, our chapter held one support group meeting per month and produced a monthly newsletter, which was mailed to all of its members.  Every December, the chapter would also hold a Candlelight Remembrance Service, which was a special, significant event to celebrate our children.  This tradition has continued and is usually held on the second Sunday in December in conjunction with The Compassionate Friends Worldwide Candle Lighting event. 

In the spring of 2004, some of our members came up with the idea of having a balloon release along with a potluck supper as an additional annual chapter event.  This event has served as another way to gather our members for a more casual meeting and to honor the memory of our children.  Although we no longer do a balloon release, our chapter continues to hold an annual symbolic Spring Event. 

In 2005, our chapter website was established.  This has served as an additional resource for the newly bereaved and their supporters, as well as a means to increase awareness about The Compassionate Friends. 

In 2011, the frequency of our support group meetings was increased to twice a month. 

In 2015, our chapter Sibling Group was initiated and this group has continued to meet once a month since that time. 

In 2016, our chapter added a third annual event.  The Walk To Remember, which is usually held each autumn, is another opportunity for our members to gather socially and to honor our children, grandchildren and siblings.   

In 2020, due to COVID-19, our chapter stopped having in-person meetings.  We started having bi-monthly virtual parent meetings and a monthly virtual sibling meeting via Zoom.  In January 2021, we were able to resume our in-person meetings.  Altogether, we now hold 4 meetings per month; one virtual sibling meeting, two virtual parent meetings and one in-person parent meeting.                             

Our chapter has been active for over 45 years and remains strong and viable due to our volunteers, whether they are willing to organize or facilitate meetings, reach out to the newly bereaved, produce and contribute to our monthly newsletter, manage our chapter treasury, manage our chapter website, or coordinate chapter events.  It is truly amazing that when people are hurting so deeply, their willingness to help others can significantly contribute to their own healing process. The ongoing willingness of group members to reach out and help others is the reason for the long-term effectiveness of The Compassionate Friends and the North Shore-Boston Chapter.